Raffles Are Really Hard To Win So Buy 1244 Tickets
by mysoxlike2party
Summary: What happens when Oedo TV raffles off a date with Popular TV Weather Girl/News Reporter Ketsuno Ana? Gin buys every last raffle ticket within Edo, that's what. Oh, and Kagura buys a ticket too. Just one though. o o My first story! Review if you can! :


**Anime:** Gintama  
**Pairing:** I guess GintokiXOedo TV's Weather Girl/News Reporter Ketsuno Ana?  
**Rating:** T, For slight language and suggestive stuff.  
**Warnings:** Slight Language, Suggestive Stuff  
**Disclaimer:** It's Quite obvious I don't own Gintama. Thank god, too. I wouldn't know what to do! **Notes:** My very first published story onto fanfiction! The idea for a story like this came into my mind when my friend and I were talking about Gin pairings over Yahoo Messenger. Although this story does not neccesarily have a pairing really... Anyways, enjoy, review if you can, and I'm sorry if there are any spelling mistakes... OpenOffice said I was good! o_o

* * *

**Raffles Are Really Hard To Win, So Buy 1,244 Tickets.**

It was just another normal day in the Yorozuya office. Or house. Apartment complex? Call it what you want, it was just another blistering hot day in Edo. And what else to do on hot days than laze around and do nothing.

"I heard that if you just stay still, you won't get so hot." Said Gin, who was laying on the sofa. The table next to the sofa had a fan, which was fanning Gin's head. His nicely permed locks swayed back and forth in the fan generated wind.

"Hey I think it's working!" He added.

"Are you sure it's not because the fan is in your face?" Said Shinpachi from across the room. He was organizing his CD collection on a shelf because now he actually had time to do it. No work, you'll die if you go outside, nothing to do inside... yep, that's what you do when that happens. You organize your ever growing collection of Otsuu CD's that you never got around to organize.

"Hmm... alphabetically, or by date of hit song..." He muttered to himself.

"Wha?" Called out Gin, eyes closed, trying to picture himself among the penguins in Antarctica.

_'If I think cold, I'll get cold!'_ He kept thinking to himself.

"This is boring, let's watch the news, maybe people have died from this heat and it's the headline, uh huh!" She said cheerfully.

"That's nothing to be cheerful about, Kagura." Said Shin. Kagura picked up the remote and pressed the power button.

"Gin-chan, let's watch TV." Said Kagura, waiting for the TV to turn on. It's one of those TVs that take half a minute to turn on completely.

"Ssshhh. _Antarctica_." Whispered Gin.

Kagura tugged on Gin's hair, urging him to watch with them.

"He's in Antarctica now, Kagura. He ain't coming back soon." Stated Shin. He sighed. "I should know. He does this every time it gets hot. I can't snap him out of it and I end up doing ALL the housework." Sound finally began coming out of the TV as the screen slowly faded in with color.

"...summer contest! Enter for a chance to win a date with Oedo TV's very own, Ketsuno Ana!"

**"I'M BACK! THE PLANE TICKETS WERE OUTRAGEOUS AND THEIR PEANUTS GAVE ME THE RUNS!"** Shouted Gin, jolting up from the sofa.

"That was quick!" Remarked Shinpachi. He looked at the TV to see the contest in big bold letters. "Oh, I see. You heard the announcement." He said, "Yea, you'll come back from Antarctica for Ketsuno Ana but not your good friend Shinpachi!"

"Shut UP! I'm trying to listen!" Barked Gin, his ear pressed firmly against the TV.

"Don't see the big deal. What so great 'bout date with Ketsuno Ana, uh huh?" Said Kagura.

"You two never shut up! Clam it!" Shouted Gin again. Everyone was silenced as they heard the announcement.

"On behalf of all the fan letters I've gotten, the producer thought, why not give one of those poor suckers a chance?" Said Ketsuno Ana, "The contest is simple. Or, maybe I should say raffle. Lol. I'm being raffled. Anyway, it's simple. You buy a ticket, put your name on it, and give it to us. It will be put into a large box, and on the day on the raffle, the tickets will be mixed up, I will reach my hand in, and I grab a ticket. What's even more awesome..."

There was a pause as Ketsuno Ana fumbled with the index cards. She resumed when she found the right one. "...is that all the money from the ticket purchases will be donated to charity. Yay!" She said.

"Boring!" Muttered Kagura.

"Also, this raffle is brought to you by Olivo Garden, which is where the winner and I will be having the date. The restaurant is free, as well! You will be able to order anything you like. Tickets are on sale now anywhere newspapers are sold! Thank you, and good luck to you all!" She ended with a smile.

"Interesting! I wanna enter! That place is great!" Said Kagura enthusiastically.

"You only wanna enter for the free food, don't you?" Said Shinpachi, turning off the TV.

"Stay away from that raffle!" Said Gin to Kagura.

"Gin, you have no money to buy tickets." Said Shinpachi, "In fact, we haven't had business in _**days**_."

"Oh, yes I do! I have a secret stash that's solely for weekly JUMP comics." He said.

"You bastard! There have been days we've starved and somehow you've managed to buy JUMP! I never questioned how you managed to buy new comics every week! You prefer JUMP over food?" Said Shinpachi hysterically.

"I'm going over to the newspaper stand right now." Said Gin, grabbing his wallet from under the sofa.

"Oh, _NOW_ you'll go outside, but when I asked you to go out to buy groceries you were in the South Pole!" Added Shin.

Gin headed out to the nearest newspaper stand. Kagura and Shin couldn't help but follow. Or run. Gin was running. Fast.

"Dammit I forgot my **moped**! But I'm almost there so no point in going back!" Said Gin to himself. His eyes were fixated on the distant newspaper stand, coming closer, and closer until...

Whack! He bumped into something and fell on his butt. Or someone?

"Watch it." Said a familiar voice.

He looked up and saw Hijikata. Great.

"You know I can arrest you for hit-and-run. But I won't. Cuz that involves going back to the headquarters for a police report and a pen. And I don't _feel_ like writing." He said cooly.

"Tell me your not going to enter Oedo's TV's raffle 'Get-a-date-with-OedoTV's-very-own-Ketsuno-Ana-weather-girl-raffle!" Said Gin frantically.

Hijikata just stared, his cigarette almost falling out of his mouth.

Gin got up and continued running. Not far behind him was Kagura and Shin.

"Kids..." Muttered Hijikata.

"Gimme all the Oedo Tv raffle tickets you got!" Gin demanded to the guy handling the newspaper stand.

"...That'll be..." Began the Newspaper Handler.

"Gin!" Gasped out Shinpachi, falling to the floor behind him.

"Buy some for me too!" Said Kagura.

"Forget you! Every man for himself!" Said Gin, stuffing every raffle ticket the guy had in a bag and handing the Newspaper guy a ton of money.

"Fine! I'll just go to the OTHER newspaper stand!" Taunted Kagura.

"Not if I get there first!" Shouted Gin, running off with bag in hand, and Kagura not far behind him.

* * *

"Uuuh... I think I raided every newspaper stand within Edo..." Said Gin, panting heavily. But there was an even heavier pant. Something wet fell on Gin's head.

"Sadaharu! I forgot all about you!" Said Kagura, hugging him.

"He was behind us the entire time?" Said Shin.

"Yea! What else could have been all that wet stuff falling onto your hair?" Stated Kagura, wiping Sadaharu's drool off with a hanky.

"Your gonna need more than a hanky for Sadaharu..." Said Shin. He turned to Gin and asked him "How much did you waste on all those raffle tickets anyway, Gin-san?"

Gin was still panting heavily. "All of my stash..." He began.

"Somebody's gonna be 'Bleach' deprived for a while!" Commented Kagura.

"...and our safety deposit box." Added Gin.

"Some people are gonna be FOOD deprived for a while! Gin! That money was for when we don't have enough to eat!" Exclaimed Shinpachi,

"Isn't that everyday?" Kagura said.

"G-Gin-san... how could you..." Stuttered out Shin.

"Don't worry," Began Gin, straightening himself out, "I'll bring you some of Olivo Garden's best food when I win."

* * *

The day was here. The day Ketsuno Ana would draw the ticket for the date at Olivo Garden. The Yorozuya were cramped together on the same sofa in front of the TV listening intently. Sadaharu

was panting and drooling on Shinpachi's head, Shinpachi gripping a sofa pillow intensely hoping the emptying of the safety deposit box was not in vain, Kagura also gripping a sofa pillow hoping

she would win even though she had only bought one ticket, though she still thought she had as much of a chance as Gin, who bought 1,244 tickets. Don't ask where he got so much money. Gin, who was sitting on the sofa, legs crossed, was biting his nails down to the core. Finally the commercials were over, and it was back to the news.

"Hello, and welcome back to Oedo TV News!" Greeted Ketsuno, "I am Ketsuno Ana. Tonight, an armed robbery at Edo National Bank, a woman gives birth on a low fuel hellicopter, FBI tracks down number one most wanted terrorist, and I found a puppy!" She said happily, lifting up an adorable pup. "I found it outside the Oedo TV building just sitting there. It has a collar, so it must belong to somebody!"

"Oh, get ON with it!" Shouted Kagura at the TV.

"If this is your lost puppy, then shame on you for watching TV instead of looking for it! You don't deserve it back!" She set the lost and confused looking puppy down and continued.

"But before I get to all the action packed news tonight, I'm going to draw the winning raffle ticket."

The camera zoomed out, revealing a large clear box with the tickets inside being turned over and over again by a revolver inside. The revolver stopped.

"I will now draw the winning ticket who will accompany me on a date at Olivo Garden." She began, "Olivo Garden. Where the food isn't just good. It's olivo good!" She said.

"I bet they paid her to say that." Remarked Shinpachi.

"Well..." She said with faint hope, "Here goes!"

"Oh God, I need a bucket!" Said Gin. "Sadaharu, open your mouth!" Sadaharu surprisingly did as told.

"You are not gonna puke in Sadaharu's mouth, even though he will swallow, it uh huh!" Said Kagura.

Ketsuno Ana reached her hand in, grabbed a ticket and looked at it.

"The winner is..." She began, "...Akata Tingoki!"

"DAMMIT!" Shouted Gin, throwing Kagura off the sofa for no reason. "Well, that was that. I hope Tingoki and Ketsuno have a good life together!"

"Gin, the raffle was for a date at a restaruant, not marriage!"

"Huh? H-Hold on! It seems I made a slight misprononciation!" Ketsuno Ana said.

"Gin, listen to the TV and stop crying in Kagura's arms!"

"The real winner of this raffle is..." Began Ketsuno, "S...Sakata Gintoki!

Gin's jaw dropped, along with Kagura's.

"Well, congratulations Gin-san, wherever you may be! I will be looking forward to our date at Olivo Garden tomorrow!" Said Ketsuno with a smile that could send your heart on a journey for love. "Now, in tonight's news..."

"Y-YEA! FUCK YEA!" Yelled out Gin.

"Awwww!" Whimpered Kagura.

"Kagura you didn't really think you were gonna win with one raffle ticket, did you?" Said Shin.

"DREAM KILLER!" Shouted Kagura.

"How can I kill it if Ketsuno Ana just said Gin won! Hey, where is Gin anyway?"

"I'm gonna take a long shower that will probably send Otose's water bill through the roof, but I gotta get real clean for Ketsuno Ana!" Exclaimed Gin.

"Why don't you just take it before you leave so you can be refreshingly clean?" Asked Kagura.

"Because, my sweet loser Kagura," Cooed Gin, patting Kagura's head, "Daddy's going to spend all day tomorrow fixing his hellish hair."

"Will you bring food? Kagura hungry, Kagura hasn't eaten since yesterday." She said, rubbing her stomach. Gin smiled. "Of course." He said. Gin grabbed a towel and headed for the bathroom.

"He's gonna be in there all night." Said Shinpachi.

* * *

**THE NEXT DAY...**

"How do I look?" Said Gin, stepping out of his room.

"Like you belong in a host club." Said Kagura.

"Like you're getting married." Said Shinpachi.

"Arf. Arf arf arf." Said Sadaharu.

"Uh. It's the hair isn't it? I can't do anything with this damn hair. Hair from hell!" He cursed at his hair.

"Stop cursing your hair and go before your late!" Said Shinpachi.

"You're right, it's 4 o clock, gotta be there by 4:30. Well, I'm off." He said, heading out the door.

"Don't come back to me without some GRANDCHILDREN!" Shouted Kagura.

* * *

"Let's see... 123 Main Street..." Muttered Gin to himself. The day he won the raffle, the TV News Station called him shortly after the announcement to give him the details of the location. They had also mentioned there may be some news reporters outside the restaurant, but they won't be present inside the restaurant. He walked along the sidewalk and took a left to see a crowd of people outside an Olivo Garden.

"Well, that must be it..." He said to himself. He walked over there and started pushing people out of the way.

"Move it people, WINNER coming through..." He said.

"Hey! Are you Gin-san, winner of the raffle?" Asked one person.

"Why, yes, I am." Said Gin with a smile.

"Here he is! Here's the winner! Let him through!"

Gin couldn't help but feel awesome being called a winner.

Gin began talking to some news reporters on how awesome it is to be a winner when he heard a familiar voice he always listens to every Monday through Friday at 7-7:30pm, Japan Standard Time.

"Are you Gin-san?" Said the familiar voice.

He immediately stopped talking and turned his head ever so slightly.

"K...Ketsuno Ana..." Muttered Gin. He turned around completely to see this beauty head on.

"S-Such an honor!" He said, going down on both knees. Ana giggled.

"I'm just another TV News/weather girl." She said.

"Don't be so modest, Ana-san!" He said, on all fours, "I'm lucky to be standing here... er, standing on all fours here..."

She giggled again. Her giggles were adorable, by the way.

"You wouldn't want to dirty your pants. Let's go in Olivo Garden before more reporters show up." She suggested.

Once the hostess showed them to their table, Gin and Ana sat down and began skimming the menus. "You know what you'll be having, Gin-san?" Asked Ana-san.

"Uhhh..." Muttered Gin, remembering he promised to bring food home to his starving co-workers. "The entire left side of the menu..." He said.

"Woah! That's one BIG appetite!" Said Ana, half scared.

"No, it's not that, " Began Gin, "It's because I'm out at home and I promised Shin—" He stopped dead in his words. How was he going to tell a hot weather girl that he spent all his money on raffle tickets and he's out of food at home which isn't uncommon to him because his job isn't the most desirable in the world?

"It's because..." He began, "I promised to bring a little food home for the starving orphans I've been fostering. They've never tasted Olivo Garden..." He said.

"You foster orphans? Wow! You're so kind..." Said Ana, sniffing a bit.

"Yea. It's not fair... a guy like me with so much money can at least foster some orphans... I mean, they didn't ask to be an orphan, they just wanna live life..." He lied.

"That's so generous." Said Ana, blowing into a hanky. "I've been thinking on fostering orphans too, but with my busy schedule..."

"That's no excuse!" Said Gin, slamming his fists onto the table. "I'm a CEO but I still manage to save little orphan lives! You have no excuse, hot weather girl!"

"CEO? Of what company?" Asked Ana.

"Um, that's an awesome question. I am CEO of..." Gin stuttered out. He looked down at the table and saw his forks. "For..." He looked to his left to see a sign. "Sign..."Then looked ahead to see a little baby in a high chair waving a little rattle. "Attle." He finished.

"I've never heard of the company forsignattle." Ana said.

"Oh, it's a foreign company, were in Edo for a little bit for... company things..." Said Gin.

"That's great. Wow, I never managed my date would be a CEO of a large foreign company! I was almost positive the winner was some loser with a dead end job who wasted all his money on raffle tickets because he has an unhealthy crush on me and to bring home food because he starves on a daily basis!" She said, right on target, "But man was I wrong!" She leaned across the table, looking at Gin with lustful eyes. "Tell me more about yourself..."

"Ready to order?" Asked the happy waiter, pen ready.

"Ah yes!" Said Ana, sitting back on her seat. "I'll have the Olivo Garden Salad Special. With some iced tea, please. And you, Gin-san?"

"Everything on the left side of the menu, please." Said Gin with a straight face, setting the menu down.

The waiter gave him an odd look. "Um... seriously?" Asked the waiter. "Okay then..." He said, not even bothering to write it all out. He took the menus and proceeded into the kitchen, probably to talk to the chefs.

"Just a garden salad? Are you serious?" Chuckled Gin.

"I'm watching my weight!" Said Ana, looking down. "Well... actually, THEIR watching my weight..."

"Who?" Asked Gin.

"The producer at the TV Station. He told me to order nothing more then a garden salad and a water... he'll kill me if he hears I ordered an Iced Tea." She said quietly. Gin slammed his fists at the table yet again.

"What the hell is that? You can eat whatever you want, they have no right to tell you what you should or shouldn't eat! It's YOUR body!" He exclaimed.

"I know, but they said they don't want a fat weather girl..." Said Ana, burying her face in her hands. She began to sob slightly. "They ALREADY think I'm a bit overweight..."

"I'll smash their heads against a brick wall! How much do you weigh anyway?" Said Gin.

"*45 Kilograms." She said. [*NOTE: That is roughly about 99 lbs.]

"Your PERFECT!" Said Gin, "In fact, I think you'd look good with just a tiny bit more meat on you!"

"Really?" Said Ana, looking a little happier.

"Oh yea."

"How much do you weigh?" Asked Ana. Gin gulped. His doctor said he should start dieting because his weight is expected to increase over the year.

"Um, I'm *65 Kg..." He said sheepishly. [*NOTE: Roughly about 143 lbs.]

"Oh, that's normal for a guy, right?" She asked.

"Yea! Totally!"

A plate of salad was placed in front of Ana, along with her tea.

"Sorry for the wait, I had to battle it out with the chefs on your boyfriend's order..." Apologized the waiter.

"Oh, he's no—"

"Yes, how is my order coming along?" Asked Gin, interrupting Ana.

"They finally agreed, their working overtime for this..." He said, shrugging. "Expect this order to take a little longer then usual. In the meantime, here's a salad while you wait, sir." He placed a salad in front of Gin then excused himself to the kitchen.

"I'm so happy the little orphans are gonna be eating Olivo Garden tonight." Said Gin, not mentioning the fact he is one of the starving little orphans.

"Oh, you think when this is over, I can come over and meet the orphans you're fostering? I want to see how happy they look when they see gourmet food brought to them!" Said Ana. Gin began to choke on a mini tomato he was eating.

"UGH-ARGH... I-I dunno if that's such a good idea!" He said, "Their really shy when their around beautiful divorced weather girls..."

"Oh, pretty please!" She said, placing her hand on Gin's. "It would make me so happy." She gave Gin one of her 'You can't say no to this cute face' looks.

"O-Oh, I dunno..." Stuttered Gin. Ana tightened her grip on Gin's hand.

"Please?" she said cutely.

"W-well..."

She tightened her grip even more. Gin's hands felt like they were going to explode under the pressure.

"W-What a great idea, Ana-san!" Said Gin out of fear. Ana let go of his hand and clapped her hands.

"Yay!"

Throughout the date, Gin only ate the salad they gave him, and half of Ana's iced tea, partly because of his huge order, and the chefs were angry they had so much to do in so litte time.

"I hope they don't spit on my food." Said Gin.

"Why?" Asked Ana.

"Because I can see them glaring at me through their kitchen window." He said, turning his head to look at the kitchen window which did in fact have irritated looking chefs looking his way.

The order was finally finished, right when the date ended.

"Alright sir," Said the waiter from before, "Your order is complete!"

"Can you deliver that to my house?" Asked Gin

"W-We don't deliver! Carry all the food yourself!" Said the irritated waiter.

"Well can you at least put everything into a little container?" Asked Gin.

"You could have TOLD US BEFORE!" Shouted the waiter, going back into the kitchen. Gin heard loud groans coming from the kitchen and some bashing of plates. He then heard a threat to kill whoever ordered all of it. Some more shouting, then silence. The waiter came out of the kitchen and approached Gin.

"Your meals will be boxed, sir." He said.

"Thanks!"

Gin began walking home carrying a large sack with boxes and containers with food inside them. Next to him, was TV Weather Girl Ketsuno Ana.

"I can't wait to see the little orphans!" Squealed Ana.

"Yea, me too..." Muttered Gin. "Oh, the place I'm staying at is just a rental for right now, ya know..."

They finally arrived to Gin's 'rental'.

"Oh, it's right above a snack bar! How adorable!" Cooed Ana.

"Yea, cute..." Muttered Gin.

"Gin-san!" Called out Shinpachi, coming down from the 'rental'. "How'd it go?"

"I hope you brought food Gin-chan, uh huh, or Kagura's Yato blood is gonna boil!" Shouted Kagura.

"Oh, they were waiting for you!" Commented Ana.

"Waiting for my food." Added Gin.

Kagura jumped down from the 'rental' and ran towards Gin.

"Look, it's Santy Clause with a big sack of food for us orphans!" Said Kagura jokingly.

"She's so cute!" Said Ana

Behind Kagura came Shinpachi. "I hope this food makes up for all the tickets you bo—"

Gin grabbed Shinpachi and covered his mouth.

"You are a starving orphan and I am your master, got it Shin-kun?" Whispered Gin.

"Mmmf!"

"This is a rental, not my home. My actual house is in Hawaii. Got it Shin-kun?"

"Nmmmf! Nmf Nmf Nmf! Mwhhhhhbbb?" Translation: Noo! No No No! Why?

"Play along, or no never ending pasta bowl for you!" Threatened Gin. He let go and Shin bowed at Gin.

"Thank you Gin-sama, for this wonderful meal." Said Shinpachi.

"Huh? Why you calling Gin-chan Gin-sa—" Shinpachi grabbed Kagura and covered her mouth.

"You are a starving orphan and Gin is your master, got it Kagura-chan?" Whispered Shinpachi.

"?"

"This is a rental, not Gin's home. Gin's actual house is in Hawaii. Got it Kagura-chan?"

"?"

"Play along, or no never ending pasta bowl for you!" Threatened Shinpachi. He let go of Kagura and she bowed like crazy in front of Gin.

"Thank you almighty overlord for this feast fit for a king." Said Kagura.

"Er, I think she's overdoing it." Muttered Shinpachi.

"Wow, the orphans look so happy!" Said Ana, watching Kagura pick up the sack and run into the house like a maniac.

"Yea, I'm happy cuz their happy."

"But why does that sign say 'Yorozuya Gin-chan?'" Asked Ana, pointing to the sign.

_'Shit! Totally overlooked that!' _Thought Gin.

"Um, the orphans were bored so they made a banner for me! Isn't it pretty? Their great at kanji, arn't they?" Said Gin frantically.

"I suppose. The handwriting is a little sloppy, though." Said Ana, analyzing it.

_'Hey! I wrote that sign!' _Thought Gin.

"I had a great time, Gin-san!" Said Ketsuno Ana. She gave Gin a big hug. Gin couldn't help but blush.

"Aw yea. Hug me tighter." Said Gin out loud.

"Huh?"

"Uh, nothing!" He said quickley.

"Hmm, It feels as if something is poking me." Said Ana.

"Oh, I have a fork in my pocket... " Said Gin.

"Why?"

"You know, utensils for the _starving orphans_?"

"You're so kind!" Ana said, hugging him tighter.

"Yea I know." Muttered a very happy Gin.

* * *

_**END**_! Sorry if it's nothing like the other awesome proffesionaly done stories on fanfiction like you're used to seeing. Again, this is my first story, so yea... _


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